Exercise #3
12/02/13
“Do you think he sees us?”
“I hope not. I felt like we were pretty sneaky.”
“I suppose you’re right.” Gulgon squeaked, strumming his stubby, cobalt fingers together nervously. “We did weave back and forth faking as stars whenever he would look up.”
“Which he did often. I thought was strange.”
“Right! That’s what I’m saying.”
“No. I just said it.”
“I know, but I was basically saying that too.”
“Not in so many words.”
“Exactly. In more.”
“I know. I’m always so long winded. I can’t help it some times.”
“You just let the words rip out. Like a good ole noisy fart…”
“Fulwalups! He’s looking again!”
“Evasive maneuvers!”
The bowl shaped chamber lit up, like sparkling opaque glass with fireflies winking in and out of existence within glaciers. The ceiling hummed, the fan blades purring with satisfaction.
“Hold on to your butts!”
“Move for the clouds. Take cover there.”
“Which ones? There’s so many on this flurlabups planet…”
“The one that looks like a giraffe.”
“Which one? They all look like ulcers to me.”
“The tall one.”
“Oh. Got it! Moving now!”
“No. Cantaloupes. Not that one. That one looks like a fur walrus vomiting a trolley. The one that looks like a dull tower pooping a brick.”
“Oh. Dope. I didn’t see that one.”
“Well don’t just sit there on your ginormous bum. Move there! He’ll see us.”
“I’M NOT SITTING. I’m standing.”
“Why do you always have to take everything so literally, Lu Dulf umb?”
“It runs in the family. Inner breeding does that.”
“I just never saw the preference in that.”
“Keeping all our gum drops in one bucket, you know.”
“I suppose.”
They stood there, staring out at the upward curving walls, blankly. Seconds pulsed by as nothing happened.
The walls every once in awhile blossomed in radiant colors, but for the most part they remained a blue-ish silver. Stagnant.
“Oh. Flup. Weren’t we doing something?”
“Ah yes. The dude.”
The two both looked down on queue.
“Cals wallop piccolo! He’s looking up!”
“Evasive Maneuvers!!!”
They both strummed on the panels that erupted from the floor like spread legs from the lower section of a body.
“Quickly. Towards that cloud!”
“Got it! Wait. Which one.”
“That one!”
“On it. Pretend we’re already there. It’ll stop the heart attack.”
“Shut your butt.”
“Roger. We’re there. Safe in the clouds.”
“Did he see us?”
“I don’t know. Let’s check.”
The two both looked down at the same time. They stared at the floor. Several seconds whirled by, uneventful. The ceiling fanning grew deathly silent.
“Ah good. It seems like he didn’t see us.”
“Good thing we react far quickier than those two legged trees.”
“Yeah. Imagine if we didn’t.”
The two looked at each other. Their bald, balloon shaped heads leaned back, erupting in giggling laughter that sounded more like burps under water, their one antennas swaying back in forth.
“Now what?”
“We wait. They are so slow. We’ll have to wait for the twenty seconds it takes for him to look up at the sky, scratch his head over the puzzle of what he nearly saw, shrug it off, and continue walking.”
“When can we grab him? I’m so tired of this assignment.”
“You must remember the purpose of our assignment. He needs us.”
“But gal wees. It’s been seven life cycles for us. You know I missed my second cousin’s third grandson’s bar mitzvah.”
“I don’t get why you celebrate that odd tall-tree-man tradition.”
“It’s quite fascinating. Especially the part where they get drunk off of liquid.”
“I never get that part.”
“Me neither. It’s quite intriguing though.”
“And who grows hair anyways? Who does That.”
“Let’s focus. The lad is moving.”
“Follow him.”
“Roger. On him like we’re pig bagging.”
“Piggy Backing. What are you, a stork?”
“No. I’m a Gul hump. As are you. We’re most similar to the anatomy of a frog, but upright, standing on our back three legs, with a round balloon head.”
“I know what we are. We don’t have web-like fingers though. Oh, and Don’t forget the antenna.”
“Enough. Don’t let him see our shadow.”
“Switching settings to see-through-outer-walls.”
The bowl shaped room purred again, the firefly like lights hissed about the walls. The walls pulsated with rainbows, then darkened and returned to looking like the steel inside of a bubble. The ceiling fan whirled faster as their vessel slowly hovered through the air, following the human walking down the residential sidewalk.
“Get close to that tree. Once he turns around the corner, we’ll snag him.”
“There are other people on those flat streets though. We need to make sure they don’t see us.”
“I don’t get why they always freak out when we take one of their people. It’s like they don’t get what we’re doing.”
“And once we’re done, they always hunch over, as if they’ve experienced a great shame. They either stop interacting with their fellow brothers and sister specimens, or they start yelling to their upper ups, as if there’s some big conspiracy going on or something.”
“I feel like they should enjoy our… events.”
“I suppose not all species eat up their…”
“Quickly, into the leaves. We’re gaining on him.”
“On it.”
“Hurry. Prepare the probe. It is time.”
“Let the magic begin.”
One of them ran away from the controls, and jumped on what looked like several marbles lodged in the floor. They lit up, and the floor surrounding them wiggled like jello. Then, the balls sucked into the floor. He yelped with joy, and jumped in after the marble.
He suddenly was falling down a tunnel.
Spinning faster and faster, the spiral tunnel was deep. He screamed his head nearly off, his bulbous tummy rubbing on the flexible steel walls. The walls lit up like whales diving into the ocean deep, and he knew he was close. The marble was speeding faster and faster towards the bottom. If he didn’t catch it before it reached the bottom, he would be made into mush, joining the jello alloy of the probe for a thousand life cycles, maybe to be reborn as a nat.
“Noooooooooot today!”
He reached and clasped the marble, joining in its abnormal momentum. It suddenly stopped. He had reached the bottom. The tip of the probe.
The marble fell lose into an upside-down mushroom-shaped chamber. Christmas tree like lights whirled around him. He jumped up, taking the marble that was larger than him, and shoved it into the hole. He ran and looked up the tunnel which he had just entered from. Covering his mouth he yelled.
“Ready freddy!”
A meek echo. “Don’t ever call me that again.”
“You got it, Doc! Let her rip!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Johnny Appleseed Bob walked around the corner, gripping his loose pants with one hands, and the grocery bag with the other. It was a bright but cloudy day in Delaware, and he was just a block away from his quaint home. A biker flew by him, throwing newspapers at the lawns as he passed. He looked too happy, a grin super-glued to his face.
Johnny was normally a happy person. But today, he was nervous. He felt like someone was following him. Today of all days too. He had left his belt at home, and he could barely walk without his pants falling. It was odd. He heard odd sounds from above too. He was worried that the medication he had just been given by his doctor was a bit stronger than before. But he knew he’d never go back for that procedure. He had walked out before they could start. He would never allow anyone to put anything up there…
A bush next to him shook.
He spun around, throwing his arms up like a dazed ninja, screaming for the sky.
The bush lit up, hurling sounds echoing from within.
Then, suddenly a glowing whip ripped from the bush, wrapped around his leg, and pulled him into the bushes. He dropped his groceries, bummed that he wouldn’t be making any of his favorite dish tonight. He knew he might as well be dead.
The vessel was no bigger than a bowl, with what appeared to be a fan for the lid, and from the bottom was a long whip-like tentacle. It hovered in the air, and suddenly he was lifted up and over onto his knees.
“No! Please no! Not my butt! Please! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The two just scratched their heads.
“For the life of me, I’ll never understand why these humans don’t like our greeting?”
“Well, not all of them.”
“Generally speaking, they don’t like to be surprised. Which is odd. Our people absolutely love the surprise wedgie.”
They both scratched their heads again, shaking their little antenna, confused.
“Ah well. At least we can go home now.”
“It’ll only take like fifty two thousand life cycles. I wonder if my wife will still be alive.”
“Don’t count on it. Want a piece of deer gum?”
“Sure.”
12/02/13
“Do you think he sees us?”
“I hope not. I felt like we were pretty sneaky.”
“I suppose you’re right.” Gulgon squeaked, strumming his stubby, cobalt fingers together nervously. “We did weave back and forth faking as stars whenever he would look up.”
“Which he did often. I thought was strange.”
“Right! That’s what I’m saying.”
“No. I just said it.”
“I know, but I was basically saying that too.”
“Not in so many words.”
“Exactly. In more.”
“I know. I’m always so long winded. I can’t help it some times.”
“You just let the words rip out. Like a good ole noisy fart…”
“Fulwalups! He’s looking again!”
“Evasive maneuvers!”
The bowl shaped chamber lit up, like sparkling opaque glass with fireflies winking in and out of existence within glaciers. The ceiling hummed, the fan blades purring with satisfaction.
“Hold on to your butts!”
“Move for the clouds. Take cover there.”
“Which ones? There’s so many on this flurlabups planet…”
“The one that looks like a giraffe.”
“Which one? They all look like ulcers to me.”
“The tall one.”
“Oh. Got it! Moving now!”
“No. Cantaloupes. Not that one. That one looks like a fur walrus vomiting a trolley. The one that looks like a dull tower pooping a brick.”
“Oh. Dope. I didn’t see that one.”
“Well don’t just sit there on your ginormous bum. Move there! He’ll see us.”
“I’M NOT SITTING. I’m standing.”
“Why do you always have to take everything so literally, Lu Dulf umb?”
“It runs in the family. Inner breeding does that.”
“I just never saw the preference in that.”
“Keeping all our gum drops in one bucket, you know.”
“I suppose.”
They stood there, staring out at the upward curving walls, blankly. Seconds pulsed by as nothing happened.
The walls every once in awhile blossomed in radiant colors, but for the most part they remained a blue-ish silver. Stagnant.
“Oh. Flup. Weren’t we doing something?”
“Ah yes. The dude.”
The two both looked down on queue.
“Cals wallop piccolo! He’s looking up!”
“Evasive Maneuvers!!!”
They both strummed on the panels that erupted from the floor like spread legs from the lower section of a body.
“Quickly. Towards that cloud!”
“Got it! Wait. Which one.”
“That one!”
“On it. Pretend we’re already there. It’ll stop the heart attack.”
“Shut your butt.”
“Roger. We’re there. Safe in the clouds.”
“Did he see us?”
“I don’t know. Let’s check.”
The two both looked down at the same time. They stared at the floor. Several seconds whirled by, uneventful. The ceiling fanning grew deathly silent.
“Ah good. It seems like he didn’t see us.”
“Good thing we react far quickier than those two legged trees.”
“Yeah. Imagine if we didn’t.”
The two looked at each other. Their bald, balloon shaped heads leaned back, erupting in giggling laughter that sounded more like burps under water, their one antennas swaying back in forth.
“Now what?”
“We wait. They are so slow. We’ll have to wait for the twenty seconds it takes for him to look up at the sky, scratch his head over the puzzle of what he nearly saw, shrug it off, and continue walking.”
“When can we grab him? I’m so tired of this assignment.”
“You must remember the purpose of our assignment. He needs us.”
“But gal wees. It’s been seven life cycles for us. You know I missed my second cousin’s third grandson’s bar mitzvah.”
“I don’t get why you celebrate that odd tall-tree-man tradition.”
“It’s quite fascinating. Especially the part where they get drunk off of liquid.”
“I never get that part.”
“Me neither. It’s quite intriguing though.”
“And who grows hair anyways? Who does That.”
“Let’s focus. The lad is moving.”
“Follow him.”
“Roger. On him like we’re pig bagging.”
“Piggy Backing. What are you, a stork?”
“No. I’m a Gul hump. As are you. We’re most similar to the anatomy of a frog, but upright, standing on our back three legs, with a round balloon head.”
“I know what we are. We don’t have web-like fingers though. Oh, and Don’t forget the antenna.”
“Enough. Don’t let him see our shadow.”
“Switching settings to see-through-outer-walls.”
The bowl shaped room purred again, the firefly like lights hissed about the walls. The walls pulsated with rainbows, then darkened and returned to looking like the steel inside of a bubble. The ceiling fan whirled faster as their vessel slowly hovered through the air, following the human walking down the residential sidewalk.
“Get close to that tree. Once he turns around the corner, we’ll snag him.”
“There are other people on those flat streets though. We need to make sure they don’t see us.”
“I don’t get why they always freak out when we take one of their people. It’s like they don’t get what we’re doing.”
“And once we’re done, they always hunch over, as if they’ve experienced a great shame. They either stop interacting with their fellow brothers and sister specimens, or they start yelling to their upper ups, as if there’s some big conspiracy going on or something.”
“I feel like they should enjoy our… events.”
“I suppose not all species eat up their…”
“Quickly, into the leaves. We’re gaining on him.”
“On it.”
“Hurry. Prepare the probe. It is time.”
“Let the magic begin.”
One of them ran away from the controls, and jumped on what looked like several marbles lodged in the floor. They lit up, and the floor surrounding them wiggled like jello. Then, the balls sucked into the floor. He yelped with joy, and jumped in after the marble.
He suddenly was falling down a tunnel.
Spinning faster and faster, the spiral tunnel was deep. He screamed his head nearly off, his bulbous tummy rubbing on the flexible steel walls. The walls lit up like whales diving into the ocean deep, and he knew he was close. The marble was speeding faster and faster towards the bottom. If he didn’t catch it before it reached the bottom, he would be made into mush, joining the jello alloy of the probe for a thousand life cycles, maybe to be reborn as a nat.
“Noooooooooot today!”
He reached and clasped the marble, joining in its abnormal momentum. It suddenly stopped. He had reached the bottom. The tip of the probe.
The marble fell lose into an upside-down mushroom-shaped chamber. Christmas tree like lights whirled around him. He jumped up, taking the marble that was larger than him, and shoved it into the hole. He ran and looked up the tunnel which he had just entered from. Covering his mouth he yelled.
“Ready freddy!”
A meek echo. “Don’t ever call me that again.”
“You got it, Doc! Let her rip!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Johnny Appleseed Bob walked around the corner, gripping his loose pants with one hands, and the grocery bag with the other. It was a bright but cloudy day in Delaware, and he was just a block away from his quaint home. A biker flew by him, throwing newspapers at the lawns as he passed. He looked too happy, a grin super-glued to his face.
Johnny was normally a happy person. But today, he was nervous. He felt like someone was following him. Today of all days too. He had left his belt at home, and he could barely walk without his pants falling. It was odd. He heard odd sounds from above too. He was worried that the medication he had just been given by his doctor was a bit stronger than before. But he knew he’d never go back for that procedure. He had walked out before they could start. He would never allow anyone to put anything up there…
A bush next to him shook.
He spun around, throwing his arms up like a dazed ninja, screaming for the sky.
The bush lit up, hurling sounds echoing from within.
Then, suddenly a glowing whip ripped from the bush, wrapped around his leg, and pulled him into the bushes. He dropped his groceries, bummed that he wouldn’t be making any of his favorite dish tonight. He knew he might as well be dead.
The vessel was no bigger than a bowl, with what appeared to be a fan for the lid, and from the bottom was a long whip-like tentacle. It hovered in the air, and suddenly he was lifted up and over onto his knees.
“No! Please no! Not my butt! Please! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The two just scratched their heads.
“For the life of me, I’ll never understand why these humans don’t like our greeting?”
“Well, not all of them.”
“Generally speaking, they don’t like to be surprised. Which is odd. Our people absolutely love the surprise wedgie.”
They both scratched their heads again, shaking their little antenna, confused.
“Ah well. At least we can go home now.”
“It’ll only take like fifty two thousand life cycles. I wonder if my wife will still be alive.”
“Don’t count on it. Want a piece of deer gum?”
“Sure.”
No comments :
Post a Comment